Day 47


3 times I've been known to black out


1. When I am putting away the dishes. I'll be putting away the dishes in the kitchen one second, and then the next I'm in another room of the house, as though nothing ever happened. I can't remember putting away the dishes. Then, later, I'll hear Steve say, "Katie, where is the the 3/4 cup measuring cup? Why is it not hanging with the other measuring cups?" Or, "Have you seen the forks?" 


And I have no idea how to answer him.


Because I must have blacked out again when I did the dishes. It is the only explanation.


So then I respond, saying something like,"Which forks?" or, "Oh, that cup? I'm sure it's inside of the 1 cup cup...you should look again." And I then I quickly change the subject to try and deflect on to something else while I wildly look around the kitchen trying to piece things together and trace my tracks. Usually I'll say something like, "Look at the dog! Doesn't he look big today?"  Or something like that.


Then, he will say something like, "I know what you're doing and it's not going to work. We need to find forks. We need forks to eat."


And then we conduct a search very close to what I imagine the searches are like on shows like CSI. I do not watch CSI but I bet there is some kind of searching that happens.


And then eventually, we find some stuff. In the wrong cupboard, sometimes. When I was pregnant, items somehow were found inside the fridge. Sitting, unaware, in the crisper or on the shelf next to the milk.




2. Another time I black out is when I need to crunch the numbers to figure out a tip. I get this weird anxiety about not giving enough tip, or giving way too much, like the time my sister tipped the pizza guy 20 bucks on accident. The way I see it, if I mess up on a tip, I'm either losing the hard earned money I've spent lots of time and energy hard-earning, or, the person who needs to be tipped is losing out on hard-earned money. I want it to be a good balance of good karmic niceness and also not breaking the bank.


 I understand the whole "double the tax" business .....but sometimes I just don't know what to do. Like at the hair dresser's....what if I hate it? I shouldn't take it out on the person by not tipping enough...but what if I have to somehow go somewhere else to get it fixed? I'll need money for that, too...hopefully I won't go to too many places after the hair has been chopped off or I'll end up looking like Mr. Clean and I won't have any money left.


3. Apparently just now. I thought it was just 6 p.m. It's 10:10? My goodness.......