Went to the grocery store the other day
New Year's Eve - so cold, so gray
Not the weather I mean, but the stone hearted people
driving through the steets like mean little weezels
With little beady eyes and eyebrows pointed down
Facing all of that, I should have earned a crown!

Who is that I see?
Don King? The Flea?
An oranguatang man over there, by the teas?

Doesn't matter at all, they're all going a million miles
even though there is no room for such movement in these aisles.


OH no! Forgot the cheese. Got to go back!

The holidays, the holidays, they bring out such the meanies
who park in all the spaces
and bump into you
buicks kareening

and once you're in the store
then it gets worse
the aisles are clogged with toady trolls
and castlevania jerks

what should take ten minutes
takes one thousand fifty-two
and when it's all over
make sure to adjust the rear-view

for before you are ready
to drive out of sight
you've got to brave the parking lot
and all the traffic lights

but finally when you're home
and you're unloading your loot
you can let it all go
unwind and reboot

and if you're like me
alive to tell the tale
you can write a little poem
and breathe and exhale

because by the time you write this
the holidays are through
and if you're lucky some Christmas wine
is left, also, and too.