5 Reasons why I think our laundry is attempting to eat us
(in no particular order)
1. When something or someone is letting his or her intentions known to eat someone else, I think one of the first thing he or she would do would be to bulk up and show the other person who's boss. Right now the pile is probably about as large as Terry the Hulk Hogan or George Foreman before he cut the fat with his grill - and THAT is on a good day.
2. Sometimes when the laundry gets separated into piles, it just looks like the pieces of laundry are trying to divide and conquer and take control of our entire house in attempts to eat us. I try to not feel this way, but then I look around me and there is no room to walk, and then I get my familiar feeling that the laundry is comin' to get us.
3. The clothes actually fight against the washer and dryer trying to get at us. The machines have started convulsing....loudly....when we use them. The laundry has the machines on their side. I repeat, they have the machines on their side.
4. It will be time to put clothes on and my hands reach for a drawer, open it and I find it is empty. It is empty because there is a laundry basket filled to the brim right next to it with clothes I need to put away. This is psychological warfare against us, score one for the laundry.
5. Once in a while I'll think to myself, "Now, what do I have to do today/tonight/right now/in the near future/at a point when I can physically move again after all of the movement I've been moving with?" And the only answer the clouds up my mind is to eat ice cream.
So I guess that last one shows my willpower to withstand the evil plight of laundry and show my dominion over this horrid laundry war that is being waged with glory and might.
Because sometimes, even though our laundry is trying to eat us, I just lean up against one of the piles reaching its empty flannel shirted arms near me and I eat another bite of ice cream for a little while.
And then I go back to my battle.
I still think our laundry is trying to eat us.
But you can't win 'em all, all the time.