5 things I don't think I'll ever do
(An anti-bucket list)
(A bucket kicking list before I kick the bucket)
(An "I don't think so, Tim" list)
1. Jump out of an airplane (I really hope I'm not jinxing myself here with this list....)
2. Climb to the Top of Everest (Who even wants to do that, might I ask??? Why and how does that make it on the "bucket list" for people??)
3. Become a vegan. I mean, ideally, YES, I would love that. But I really don't think my love for cheese can ever go away. At most if I really tried I could be an "almost-vegan". Cheese, how I love you so. Even though you do me so wrong.
4. High-five Sawyer from "Lost". Or that guy who plays him. I would actually love to do that, and I'm putting it on this list just in case I've jinxed myself and have become a vegan who jumps out of airplanes and climbs Everest, because I'll need something fun to look forward to if that ever happens.
5. Make a list of four things of anything. I mean, a list of 3 things seems substantial and a list of 5 things seems just fine, adequate, and satisfying, but a list of 4 things is like getting an 89 on a test. You were so close to an A. How annoying. A list of 4 things is just dumb. But that's just my opinion. And who knows...if I've jinxed myself with this list, I'll probably be giving out 4 reasons why I think Mount Everest would be a great vacation spot someday. Ugh I really hope not.
(OK just one more thing on Mount Everest: why does climbing that thing have to be some metaphor for accomplishment? Can't just getting through a day in our everyday lives be enough? I mean for most people getting through a single day requires more skill than a gladiator would need on the early '90s show "Gladiators", but slightly less skill than a gladiator in an auditorium in Greece would need. Just saying...)